I’m all about the promises of hope & happily-ever-after. After all, it’s the tagline on my website and the theme that runs through all of my novels. Even though I’ve been happily married to my husband for over thirty-two years, I realize not all romances end up like the fairy tale.
However, there’s a difference between love and romance, especially when it comes to “loving well.”
What does it mean to love well anyway?
There's a difference between love and romance, especially when it comes to loving well. What does it mean to love well anyway? #tellhisstory #faith #love Click To TweetWhen I think about loving well, three things come to mind:
- Love is a choice.
- Love is action.
- Love conquers all.
Love is a choice.
I met my husband when I was nineteen. Initially, I was captivated by his blue eyes, strong military posture, and those muscles…sigh, those muscles. However, as we got to know one another, I grew to appreciate a lot more to him beyond his physical appearance. He was kind, compassionate, generous, respectful, and most of all, he made me feel safe. We became friends before gravitating toward a romantic relationship.
When I gave him my heart, I chose him. I chose to love him. As we dated, then married, I had to continually choose to love him. Most of the time, it was very easy. However, like any couple, we had difficult times. Through those trials, I chose to love him. Loving our children was a choice. We chose to give them a loving, stable home life. We chose to be “mean parents” in order to guide them down the paths toward being responsible young men. We choose to continue to love them into adulthood.
What about those who hurt us? Those who don’t honor God with their words and actions? Those who cut us deep and leave gaping wounds. Honestly, loving those who hurt us can be very challenging. Sometimes downright difficult or even seemingly impossible. So, why do we need to? Because God loves us. And He commands us to do the same for others.
Love is action.
I’m sure you’ve heard it before—love is a verb. A verb describes action. In order to deepen our spiritual maturity and shine like Jesus, then we need to love actively on a daily basis. What that looks like depends on each person.
For me, I actively love my husband by making him a hot breakfast and a healthy lunch before sending him off to work. When he returns home from work, dinner is ready (or close to it). I clean our house and do the laundry. I do all of these things because I love him. It blesses him to come home to a clean house and hot meals. He said those are daily gifts to him. So why wouldn’t I want to bless him in such a loving way?
Actively loving our sons means knowing when to push forward and when to pull back in guiding them to make healthy decisions. It also means loving them through their mistakes and failures. It means loving them through choices that we may not agree with. Actively loving family and friends means making time in our schedules for quality time together, being willing to love through the heartache and dark moments. Active love means showing grace and compassion. It means being present and willing. It means loving Jesus first and putting others before ourselves.
Love conquers all.
With the skyrocketing divorce rate, you may scoff at this statement. However, I’m not talking about romantic love or even brotherly love. I’m talking about agape love—the unconditional love of God. God loved us so much that He sent his only son to die on the cross for our sins. God’s love showers grace and mercy over each one of us. He loves us so much that He’ll leave the ninety-nine to rescue the lost one…and Heaven rejoices.
No matter what trials and struggles we’re facing in our lives, God’s love is greater. When we accept His gift of redeeming grace and choose to live our lives in accordance with His Word, then we are showing how His love claims victory over sin—His love conquers all.
Loving well means accepting who you are in Christ and making choices to honor Him with actions and words. It means putting Jesus and others before yourself. It may not always be easy, and it takes sacrifice and commitment. But we love well because He first loved us.
We love well because He first loved us. How do you love well? #lovewell #tellhisstory #Christianliving Click To TweetHow do you love well?
Acts of service rank number one in my love languages, but I’m learning to listen well. This helps me understand other peoples’ love languages better (and improves communication 😆).
Anita, when I know someone else’s love language, it’s easier for me to know the best way to love them well. I believe learning to listen is something we all need to learn.
I wrote about love today too! It truly is the most important thing for each of us. I’m glad God paved the way for love. Thanks for sharing your specific examples about love.
Lisa, love is so necessary for us to thrive. Without God’s love, we wouldn’t have the perfect model for how to love others.
“Loving well means accepting who you are in Christ and making choices to honor Him with actions and words.” Great thought. Thankful we don’t have to gut it out. The Holy Spirit empowers us to love.
Debbie, I’m so thankful for the Holy Spirit’s guidance to help me love, especially when my human heart doesn’t want to.
Lisa, there is so much more to love than romance! Loving well IS a choice and involves action. God demonstrated this for us while we were yet sinners and alienated from him! Love shows up on the hard days, and the fun days, it chooses to love even the hardest and most unlovely! It chooses to see, listen and value. Thank you for your great reminders here!
Donna, I think when love shows up on those hard days, that makes it all the richer.
I knew before I married that love involves sacrifice, and I think I was even eager in some respects to show love in that way. But I don’t think I realized quite how selfish I was. 🙂 I’m thankful God’s lessons are ongoing and He is a patient Teacher.
Barbara, the greatest expression of love is sacrifice, isn’t it? After all, that’s what Jesus did for us.
Love is a choice and an action. Thankfully it is more than just a feeling. A 14-year-old said the other day, that love is sweaty palms, butterflies in the stomach, and a racing heart. But this sounds more like anxiety. LOL. Thankfully love is an action and God is always demonstrating it to us.
LOL, Theresa. I do remember those feelings, but I also love the beauty of real-life romance versus a high school crush. And you’re right–God’s demonstration of his love is active and lasting.
I love your following statement Lisa,
“Loving well means accepting who you are in Christ and making choices to honor Him with actions and words. It means putting Jesus and others before yourself. It may not always be easy, and it takes sacrifice and commitment. But we love well because He first loved us.”
Which says it all 🤗
Blessings,
Jennifer
Thank you, Jennifer. 🙂
A few years ago, I told my youngest sons sometimes love is a choice – in marriage and parenting – and they were appalled! LOL However, as they have grown, found the girls they plan to marry, they understand so much more about unconditional love! You break it down beautifully!
Thank you, Maryleigh. Our oldest is engaged, and recently, he did something sweet for his fiancee. He said, “Dad taught me well.” That’s a great compliment to my husband. God teaches us well too, and when we act in unconditional love like Him, it’s shining His glory.
loving well seems to have changed over time. it’s gotten deeper, steadier, more tender and trustworthy.
46+ years later, I’m grateful.
So well said, Linda! Congratulations on your 46+ years! I strive to have a marriage that lasts a lifetime.
Lisa, I think I’d have to echo Linda’s comment about loving well changing over time. After almost 28 years of marriage, we’re weathering a season of loss (my husband’s father died a few months ago) and a season of guiding/launching/letting go with our college girl. Both have drawn us closer together, but they’ve also been exhausting in some interesting ways. I wouldn’t have known to expect that, but I’m grateful that we can navigate it all together.
Lois, I’m sorry for the loss of your father-in-law. Sadly, I understand that pain as well. And we went through a tough season of walking through grief. Thankfully, we came out stronger as a couple. I’m so glad you have that as well.