Guest Blogger Reba J. Hoffman: Loving Life in a Single’s Heart

by | Guest Blogger | 6 comments

Sometimes you meet a certain person who ends up changing your life for the better. Reba J. Hoffman is such a person. I met Reba through My Book Therapy–during the chats, at first, then in person at the premiere My Book Therapy Storycrafters Retreat. It was like we had known each other our whole lives. 

Reba is a natural encourager with a passion to help individuals live the life they desire. She has dedicated her life to others and finds no greater fulfillment than to watch those she coaches succeed. She lives a simple life by design and to show others how to as well. She takes the complicated and makes it simple, not the other way around. She found her true north and does everything within her power to not only stay there, but to show others the way to their own true north. To learn more about Reba, or how to find your own true north, visit her at Magellan Life Coaching


I’ve been single all my life. Oh, I’ve had relationships with some wonderful men. Some ended with a friendly parting of ways. Others in tragedy, yet all were experiences of the heart I would not trade for anything.

Singles are often misunderstood, misinterpreted and misinformed by those who have never walked in our shoes. I’m commonly asked questions like, “What’s wrong with you? Don’t you like men?” Or, “So why did you choose to never get married?” Oh, and I love this one, “How long have you been a nun?”

The world draws the most interesting conclusions about singles, especially single women. But I have to tell you, I find single women to have a unique balance of self-reliance and fairytale wonder. Our hearts are turned to the hope of what knight in shining armor might be waiting around the next bend, while our practicality made sure we have enough gas and food for the journey.

Most single women I know feel complete in themselves. They don’t feel like only half a person because they haven’t snagged their man. Yet, they also feel strangely left out of parts of life that include family, children and married couples.

Once I was asked to read a romance novel. I have to admit, that’s not necessarily the type of book I would pick up on my own but I read it. When I gave my critique I was asked if I was married. That shocked me but I answered truthfully. The lady patted me on the arm and asked, “Well then, how would you know, dear?”

Singles have a deep and abiding love. It’s how we’re wired. Perhaps we don’t have one person we can bestow all that affection towards. That’s true enough but the love is still there. Those with love in their hearts will find someone or something to give it to. It’s natural and in God’s design.

We’re normal and we have human emotions. We are capable of love. We’re not all going to go to the convent or pledge a life of singlehood. We’re not broken or defective. We’re singles… with loving hearts and a zest for the greatest things… Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Your Turn: Are you single or know someone who is? What experiences have you had? Why not share those with us?

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  1. Lindsay Harrel

    I really appreciate this, Reba. I think a lot of people DO have those notions about single women, but you know what? Marriage is not God’s plan for everyone (and this has nothing to do with how “desirable” a woman is or not!). If certain women had been married–Mother Theresa, for example–I doubt they would have had the time or energy to do so much for the Lord’s Kingdom, in such a major way, committing their entire life to it. Their focus can be different.

    God has a different plan for everyone’s life. His will for mine was for me to marry. That doesn’t mean I’m better than the woman who doesn’t marry. We’re just different.

  2. Rachel Hauck

    Reba, what a great, thoughtful post! Thanks for sharing!


  3. delores topliff

    Very beautifully said, Reba, thanks. And you demonstrate this so well.

  4. ginger takamiya

    Reba, you have always been a shining light in my life. I thank God for your friendship so many times. You are truly a gift to the Kingdom.

    We have a lot of singles in our church, mostly women. They are Way beautiful, smart, charming and most of all, love God like crazy. Once as I was looking at one of them I said, “Lord, she is way too pretty to remain single.”
    And then the thought came, “So God’s not worthy of her beauty to have it all to Himself?”
    I stopped pondering that from then on and praised God for the beautiful women that would be His alone.

  5. Pat Trainum

    Reba, great post from one of my favorite people! You are truly an encourager and I count myself fortunate to call you friend. As one who is single again (for 15 years), I find I like doing what I want to when I want to! lol

  6. Roxanne Sherwood

    Lisa, Thanks so much for hosting Reba.

    Reba, I really appreciate your insight. God has given you such a wonderful gift of encouragement!