I had a discussion recently with a couple of thirty-something single friends who are successful in their careers and have their own homes.
We talked briefly about being single–is it a choice or are certain people just meant to be alone?
I haven’t been single for most of my life. I’ve had a steady boyfriend since I was 17. But when I was 19, I met Hubby and knew without a doubt he was the person I planned to spend the rest of my life with.
For me, being single was not a choice. I wanted to be married. I wanted to have a family. If you knew my childhood history, you may be surprised about my positive view on marriage. Marrying Hubby gave me the security I craved. We dated for 18 months before we eloped. Yes, we eloped. It was the right decision at the time. We planned to have a church wedding several months later, but life circumstances changed that, namely my pregnancy three months later and Hubby’s orders (He was in the USMC).
More people are waiting until they’re older to get married. They’re establishing their careers, their homes, their futures before getting married and having children.
I have a single friend with a good job, a beautiful home, and no desire to get married. However, she plans to adopt someday. She said her life doesn’t stop because she doesn’t have a ring on her finger.
I have another single friend with a good job, a lovely apartment, and she wants to get married. But dating is not enjoyable for her.
Another friend is a little older than I am. She left an abusive marriage and stayed single for the rest of her adult life so far. I’m not sure if her marriage discolored her view on marriage or if it’s a choice.
Another friend suffered tragedy when her fiance was murdered. She has been single since then.
Another friend believes some people are meant to be alone.
Perhaps my rose-colored glasses are on my face more than they’re set aside, but I disagree that some people are meant to be alone.
Genesis 2:18 states, “The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
With that verse scrolling through my thoughts, I believe being single is a choice. You may be reading this and disagree. I’m totally fine with that. You may be single and wonder if you’ll ever find that perfect mate for your life.
If you are single and want to get married, my best piece of advice is to pray about it. Offer your desire to God and ask for His will to be done. Ask Him to provide you with the right opportunities to meet the man or woman you’re meant to share your life with. And this may take some work on your part too–developing right relationships takes time and patience. Most of all, you want to stay in the center of God’s will for your life.
Your turn: Are you single? Is it by choice, or do you believe some people are meant to be alone? Are you married? Does being married change how you view those who are still single?