Clarification about Is Being Single a Choice

by | Uncategorized | 4 comments

I wanted to address Wednesday’s post about Is Being Single a Choice? I absolutely loved the conversation the developed. After reading a few of the comments, I felt the need to clarify a couple of points. When I asked is being single a choice, I did not mean to imply that if a person is single, then they are that way by choice. I have several single friends who are single by circumstance, not by choice. They are hoping for a spouse someday, but it hasn’t happened yet. My main purpose of the post was to say I did not believe people are meant to be alone. If a person desires be married, then I believe God will help them to find their mate or change their heart to be satisfied with being single. Many people who are single maintain their status by choice. I apologize if my post offended anyone. That truly was not my intent. 

I’m blogging at MBT Ponderers today, talking about Change Equals Growth. Here’s a snippet of the post:

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I work with children on a daily basis. One of the most amazing moments of being an early childhood educator is seeing their physical and cognitive skills development. I praise my infant Little Darling for learning how to clap her chubby little hands. I praise my preschool Little Darlings for their letters and spelling their names. I praise my toddler Little Darling for sharing toys with her friends. One of the saddest things about these precious Little Darlings is they outgrow me. Their changes as they develop and grow older require higher levels of learning than what I offer.

And don’t even get me started on my own boys. Our older son has chosen to leave his current university and course of study to enroll in culinary school … three hours away. Our younger son is a senior in high school this year. In June, he will graduate and begin a new adventure as he studies photography. His flight from the nest will leave another empty place at the dinner table. 

To read the rest of this post, go here.
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  1. Wendy Paine Miller

    I find my children are constantly teaching me unaware.

    ~ Wendy

  2. Melissa Tagg

    Ahh, Lisa, you took on a sticky subject. 🙂 I went back and read Wednesday's post, and then today's. As someone who isn't married (yet), I wasn't in the least offended by your post. And I agree that many people who stay single do so by choice. Centuries, maybe even only decades ago, staying single wouldn't have been a viable choice for people – especially women. Today it is.

    The only area where I might slightly disagree is on this: "If a person desires be married, then I believe God will help them to find their mate or change their heart to be satisfied with being single."

    I want to believe that. And yet, we live in a fallen world…and people just don't always get what they want. And while God does change our hearts, I'm not sure he changes it to "being satisfied with being single." Yes, he helps us choose to be content. It's like any other unfulfilled dream. We learn through it. We grow. We choose to be content. But there will likely always be that niggle of dissatisfaction or disappointment…because a dream wasn't fulfilled. And that's okay. In fact, I think we can experience God's comfort and peace through the life's dissatisfactions in amazing ways.

    I guess what I'm saying is – I'm not sure he always changes a person's heart to being satisfied with being single or [insert any other unfulfilled dream]. Instead, he teaches us to find our ultimate satisfaction in Him. We may still have those disappointed emotions, but we always come back to Him.

    All that said, I really liked your post! Great discussion!

  3. Jessica Nelson

    Looks like I missed an interesting post on Wed. lol
    I think you're very sweet to have posted this and I hope no one was offended.
    Kids are so wonderful. Kudos to your older kids! Sounds like they're heading in great directions.

  4. Cecelia Dowdy

    Culinary school? Three hours away? My, my, sounds like a big change! But, ya know, if your child is a good cook, he'll have no problem finding a job once he graduates!