Last Monday I received a phone call from the cardiac ICU where my mother had been resided for three days prior. Mom’s nurse called to say her doctor decided to take her back into surgery because Mom was not progressing toward recovery as well as he had expected. Mom’s aorta valve that had been replaced the previous Friday was not working the way it should. The doctor needed to open her back up, evaluate the situation, and replace or repair the valve. Because he was not doing any grafting, the surgery would not take as long as it had the first time. As with any surgery, this one included life threatening risks.
The nurse’s serious words sent my heart racing and panic clawing at my chest. She promised to have Mom’s doctor call with more information about the procedure. I was unable to travel to the hospital due to my work obligations, but I called my sister at her school. She and my sister-in-law traveled to the hospital to be with Mom, who was not doing well, while I made calls to our church’s prayer chain and family members. I updated Twitter and Facebook. Within minutes, an outpouring of prayer support and words of encouragement filled my inbox. My panic eased knowing others were calling out to God on Mom’s behalf.
With a smile pasted on my face, I went through my daily routine, but my heart cried out to God. I wanted His will to be done, but I was afraid of what His will may be. Despite Mom’s strong faith and her life placed in his hands, I was not ready for Him to take her from this home to her heavenly one. I was a selfish mortal who still wanted her mommy.
God is sovereign. His omniscience sees what’s best for us. Jeremiah 29:11-13 states, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
Since I’m not all-knowing like God, I didn’t know what He had planned. Despite not knowing Mom’s future, I had to surrender my trust and place it in His hands. His will was perfect for Mom’s life, and for the rest of us. I admit it was hard. And I did it knowing I may not like what He had planned.
I’m very pleased to say Mom is recovering at our home and doing well. She’s an amazing person who gives God all the glory. She’s an inspiration for me to surrender my will without reservation, even without knowing the outcome.
Your Turn: So what about you? Do you find it a challenge to “Like” the will of God? How has surrendering your trust during that time strengthened your faith?