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What Does it Mean to be a Submissive Wife?

I am a submissive wife. By choice.

That does not mean I am a doormat to be used in any way by my husband.

Ephesians 5: 22 reads, “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.” 



The way I believe this is misinterpreted is many people focus on the first part of that verse and disregard the second half. To me, the second half is the most important part.

I honor my husband as the head of our household. He manages our finances and has final say in weighty matters. As his wife, I submit to his leading in that regard.

Why?

Because I love him. We discuss decisions and come to an agreement. If we don’t come to an agreement, I try to get him to see things from my point of view, and he does the same. Then we decide to what is best for our family, home, finances. Sometimes it’s not the way I would want, but I respect his decisions.

Submitting to my husband does not mean I cower in fear at his wrath. Submitting does not give him the right to abuse me for his pleasure. Submitting does not mean I’m a “Yes, Sir.” kind of wife.

Submitting means loving him openly and honestly. Submitting means showing him the honor and respect he deserves. Submitting means appreciating his role as head of our household.

I am a submissive daughter to my Heavenly Father because I love him. He knows what is best for my life, and I need to respect His decisions. I don’t always like them, but I respect them.

My husband and I have a healthy marriage. Yes, there’s always room for improvement, but he has never broken my trust in him, nor has he treated me in any inappropriate manner. After 22 years, I love him more than the day I married him. I admire his strength, his courage, his willingness to compromise. Knowing his traits, I’m honored to be his submissive wife.

Your Turn: What does being a submissive wife mean to you?

Lisa Jordan

6 Comments

  • I think it's easy to be submissive when our husbands do their job which to love us as Christ loves the church.

    I agree with you, being submissive doesn't mean acting as a doormat, but it does mean letting the husband lead (with your input as a respectful, loving husband will ask for)which is how God meant for it to be.

    Was that your Bible and rings? Cause that's cool! 🙂

  • Lisa Jordan says:

    Jess, thanks for your thoughts! I'm blogging about husbands on Wednesday. Yes, those were my rings on my Bible. I took a picture of my rings on my fingers, but my camera highlighted every little wrinkle. I had elephant fingers!

  • Erica Vetsch says:

    My pastor preached on this awhile back, and he mentioned that the word for submit as used in Ephesians 5 is a military term, and it means or connotes the idea of getting in line to march. Falling in behind the leader.

    That made sense to me. My husband breaks trail for the rest of us. 🙂

  • This reminded me all over again of the Love Dare program I did a couple years ago.

    I like Erica's explanation! having hubby lead is always awesome!

  • Beth K. Vogt says:

    Well, LJ … nothing like wading into a tough topic on a Monday. (And, yes, I'm getting to it on a Thursday.)
    Quite honestly, the whole "submission" issue — not an easy one for me to grasp. I think it's often viewed lopsided. (Lopsided-ly?)
    I fought against it … until I read the verse that says we are to "submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." (Ephesians 5:12).
    See, this whole submission thing? It has very little to do with me. Or with my husband.
    And a whole lot do with my relationship with God.

  • Jill Kemerer says:

    I'm 100% with you on this, Lisa. First, God led me to a strong, faithful man full of integrity. I trust his decisions and I know he always puts me first. Submitting is easy in our household. We're usually on the same page, and when we aren't, I pray for God to help me do His will.

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