|Photo Credit: Kiomi|
Yesterday I hugged a friend who is going through the grieving process of losing a loved one. I asked how she was doing and she replied, “Not very well.” I tightened my arms around her and told her I was sorry for what she was going through. She said it hurt. I agreed. She said it was a process. I nodded. She said it takes time. She was right. She cried. I cried.
What do you say to someone when her heart is wounded?
Platitudes sound meaningless and insincere.
A couple of years ago, someone close to me miscarried. I made the comment about all in God’s time or something like that. She replied, “I don’t want to hear a meaningless platitude. I want to grieve and be angry. I’m hurt and angry. Please don’t take that away from me.”
That was an ear opener for me.
When those around us are hurting, we have to let them. We have to allow them to go through those stages of grief or loss in order to heal. If we seal their wounds with meaningless platitudes, then we are denying them the right to process their emotions. Of course, that is my completely non-academic Lisa-world way of thinking.
Life stinks. Sometimes things happen that are so unfair. One thing to always remember though–God is always there. We can be angry, yell and scream about the unfairness of the situation, but He waits to hold our hands when we’re ready to allow Him to lead us down the road of recovery.
Your turn: How do you handle a friend’s or family member’s wounded heart? Have you ever been at a loss for words?