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Why Do We Doubt God?


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Several months ago, I received a packet in the mail containing my license renewal application for my day job. I set it aside because I was in the middle of final edits for Lakeside Family, which releases next month, child assessments and preparing for an upcoming writers retreat. I had a lot on my desk, so I planned to renew my license once these other items had been cleared. 

In May, I received a reminder that I had 30 days to renew. Oh crud. I put it away, but forgot about it. 

I pulled it out, filled out the application, went to my doctor for the required physical and had my son’s clearances done. Everything was ready to go. I just needed 2 clearances to come back. May evolved into June and the days slipped off the calendar at an alarming rate. I kept asking my son if he received them in the mail. He replied in a long drawn out teen voice, “Nooo, Mooooom.” Moms of teenagers, I’m sure you can hear it in your head. 

I was a week away from needing to renew this license. Without it, my business would close. My business is our primary bread and butter these days. I needed a miracle.

I prayed. I posted a prayer request in my writing support group. I asked my son again about the clearances. Then he realized I needed it for my business, and it wasn’t something college-related…can we say  miscommunication…meaning I talked and he half-listened? 

Then he said he received it but couldn’t find it. Oy. Oy. Oy. I told him in no uncertain terms he needed to find it. My business depended on it. The paper lay buried in the abyss of his bedroom.

After cleaning all day, he couldn’t find it, so I had to call the issuing agency to request duplicate clearances. I was told it would take 3-5 business days. God, I don’t have 3-5 days….I need a miracle. 

I called my license issuing agency and talked with my representative. She needed the complete application (including clearances) to renew my license, but I could fax a copy of the clearances once I received them. 

So the countdown was on. 

I told Hubby what had happened. I stressed out majorly. It was my Black Moment–if I didn’t get my renewal in time, my business (our main income) would close. 

Then, I came to the realization–would closing my business be so terrible? I could work part-time and write a lot more than I do now. God must have a reason for all of this, right?

Maybe I needed to understand He could be sending me down a new path. Maybe I needed to be better organized. Maybe I simply needed to trust. 

I surrendered my fears and anxiety to Him. Whatever happened, I would embrace and move forward. 

I sent in a partial application with a note explaining the duplicate clearances had been mailed. After receiving my application, my rep called to say she was giving me an extension since she knew the documents were on their way. When I received them, I needed to fax her a copy.  

To make an already too long story short, I received the clearances in record time, faxed and mailed copies, and received my new license by the original date. No extension needed.

Why? All because of God.

When I opened the envelope containing my license, I laughed.

Why do I doubt God?

  • Because I’m a dork. ‘Nuff said.
  • Fear of the unknown. God always answers our prayers. However, sometimes we may not like hearing Him say no. No means change. No means pain. No means uncertainty in the future. Jeremiah 29:11-13 promises “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” What an incredible Life Compass. Even if we have change in our lives, we’re not walking toward it alone.
  • Human limitations. We can’t on our own and tend to put God in a box and think He can’t move outside the walls. Again, He proves me wrong. And I’m so thankful.

Your turn: Do you doubt God? How do you handle it? Share a time in your life where God provided or pulled you through a situation in a way only He could. 

Lisa Jordan
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