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Marriage is What You Make It

A while back, Hubby shared a story from work—he had been on third shift for 2 weeks due to a short-term project—and shared a story about one of the guys who hadn’t been married long getting harassed by his co-workers about his wife. 

Hubby took pity on the guy and told him everyone was just teasing. The guy laughed it off, but shared a concern he had been hearing about marriages and the work place. Hubby told him the workplace hours didn’t destroy marriages—marriages crumbled due to other underlying reasons. The workplace was simply an easy scapegoat. Hubby told him he had been married 22 years, and the majority of those years were spent working second shift. Hubby also told him most marriages fall apart due to financial reasons, and if the spouse was bringing home 80 grand, then finances weren’t usually the underlying cause in workplace divorces.
He finished his story, kissed me “goodnight”, then headed to bed. I pondered his words. No wonder I call him my Voice of Reason.
Marriage isn’t easy. It takes a lot of work.

In our 23 years, Hubby and I have gone through some trials–dark times that tested our commitment to each other. Those are times I wish I could forget, but those are the same trials that brought me to the foot of the cross too.

As my friend P. T. Bradley said in today’s MBT Ponderers post, “So many times more emphasis is placed on the wedding than on a marriage. A total of $72 billion is spent annually on weddings. I wish couples would remember the wedding is for a day, but marriage should be for a lifetime. They will have many joys but will also have many arguments.”

P. T.’s words are so true.

If you read the tabloids, you’ll see headlines about thousands of dollars spent on weddings, but then the couples are separated in such a short amount of time. What happened to the sanctity of vows? What happened to their commitments to each other? And no, this isn’t just in Hollywood either. It happens everywhere. Marriage is considered an outdated tradition by some, and it’s as disposable as paper plates to others.

Hubby and I eloped. Part of me yearned for that fairy tale wedding, but then I realized I may not have had the wedding I always wanted, but I married the man of my dreams. Working together, we’ve been able to face many challenges. They weren’t easy, but they drew us closer together.

Your Turn: What are your thoughts on marriage? Outdated? Too much work? Totally worth? Something you hope for someday? You’re content being single?

Lisa Jordan

9 Comments

  • I agree with how crazy people get about weddings. It's one day. Marriage is for a lifetime and though it does take a ton of work, I believe it's entirely worth it.
    ~ Wendy

  • Marriage is definitely a four-letter word: WORK

    But worth every single bead of sweat, tear, and groaning.

    I love someone knowing me so intimately. We laugh. We finish each other thoughts. It's a beautiful thing partnering together.

  • Yep, agree with you. Work. There needs to be flexibility too as we grow and change with each other.

  • I love being married. My husband is my best friend. We're very blessed, because we agree on so many things. The things we don't agree on, we talk through and compromise. I love that he knows stuff about me no one else knows.

    Marriage is awesome, but if you aren't married to the "right" person (not getting into an "intended for each other" discussion, lol), then I imagine it would not be fun.

    Though I have heard the saying that marriage wasn't supposed to make you happy, but make you holy. Interesting thought there.

  • Melissa Tagg says:

    Sure, I hope for marriage someday. I'm also pretty happy right now. I know God has his timing. I definitely don't think marriage is outdated!

    I'm really intrigued by the saying Lindsay mentioned above – that marriage isn't mean to make you happy, but holy.

  • Stacy Henrie says:

    Hard work, yes, but totally worth it!

  • Melissa, check out Gary Thomas's "Sacred Marriage" — http://www.amazon.com/Sacred-Marriage-What-Designed-Happy/dp/0310242827

    Really good book! And I didn't mean to say that marriage CAN'T make you happy, but is more designed to make us holy. 🙂

  • Melissa Tagg says:

    Oh, sweet, thanks for the recommendation, Lindsay! I'll check it out!

  • Jennifer says:

    Matthew 19:6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
    Marriage is very special and it saddens my heart the way the world treats marriage, like the vows don't mean anything!
    jennydtipton[at]gmail[dot]com

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